distance

So several things on the subject.  I am having a really rough night I think.  I am so stinkin' emotional.  My daddy's job is taking him away for a bit, and the love of my life isn't here yet...and somebody very close to me is abusing relationships...I think I am just feeling a bit rocky.  Not rocky as in I don't feel confident in the relationships I have, rocky as in, say the wrong thing and I may break down and have a toddler size cry baby fit on my floor.  I guess as far as my daddy goes, he is coming back, and it is a great and wonderful opportunity for him to be doing something he not only loves, but it is helping people..saving people.  And as far as somebody close to me (not really revealing anything too much) She just can't seem to find somebody that respects her, and she is lashing out at me when the relationships go bad (after I have told her they wouldn't last and that the guys were either just plain stupid, immature, or NOT what she needed) I am tired of being her punching bag.  I have distanced myself from her, and it actually hurts.  bad.  I want to help, but she is blaming me for certain things and for my own health I just can't do it anymore.  She asks what I think and I have to tell her that she wouldn't care to hear the answer so why bother with the question.  I am not being childish, I am having to be the grown up....I just want a normal relationship with her..lol.  I guess that sounds silly.  Relationships are bound to have their chaos.  It is just lately there is no friendship and constant chaos.  And with the long-distance relationship part of the emotional drama that is my life...He makes me happier than I have ever been in my entire life.  Every minute of every day that he is gone makes me realize that I need him in my life for every minute of every day that I am blessed with having left.  I guess you could say that if the love is right, and good, and magical than the distance is.....to love like oxygen is to fire.  It will extinguish the weak, but it will make the already blazing fire burn harder and longer...it brings life to the strong.  One day it won't hurt at all anymore because he will be right here with me all the time....but for now there is an ache that doesn't seem to want to go away.  but, like we always say :  we are magic.  that is all there is to it. 

Facebook rant??  Is it such a bad thing to not want to get married inside a church wearing white and the whole 'shebang' when it isn't what I want??  I mean, (I am obviously not a virgin with having two children and all, white is just out....a personal choice) and to be honest I want the feel of the grass on my feet and the moonlight and the stars to be witness to it all.  Going to church, being in a church doesn't make you any more a believer than sitting in a garage is going to make you a car.  I want what I want and I am getting frustrated by the people who keep trying to tell me what I need.  grrr. go away.  fix your own problems and leave me be.   OH and what is up with relationship statuses changing ever 3 days for some people??  and what the crap does 'it's complicated' mean??????  I mean, you are either in a relationship or you aren't and if you have to put 'it's complicated' as your relationship status, that I would suggest you rethink your desire for the relationship in the first place.  And don't blabber about how in love you are all over facebook when you just broke up with somebody 3 days ago and are now into somebody else.  gross. 

Bright side to tonight???  I get a midnight date with my man  :}  when he is all sleepy and grumpy  :}  but he loves me enough to skype at o-dark-thirty because I need him  <3  how did I manage to get that lucky??  Even sleepy (when I can't understand a word he says because his incredibly strong English accent is all slurred with sleep) he is such a handsome guy  <3

quote of the night???   ""You ever put your arms out and spin really, really fast? Well, that's what love is like. It makes your heart race. It turns the world upside down. But if you're not careful, if you don't keep your eyes on something still, you can lose your balance. You can't see what's happening to the people around you. You can't see that you're about to fall...""

PS;  the Drake Sisters novels by Christine Feehan....are SO FRICKIN' GREAT!   just as a side note  :} I am reading the 5th and 6th books in the series again for the millionth time and every single page is just wonderful.  I love it when great authors can keep you captivated book after book after book.  Christine Feehan, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Gena Showalter, Hannah Howell.....  I love you ladies soooooooooooo much  :}  Thank you for keeping me company and always providing me with something riveting whenever I am in desperate need. I wish all the time I had even a tenth of your talent!