the working class.....

I am going to rant...about single parenthood.  I start this out by saying that, just in case you have no desire to read it, you can just skip down a paragraph and not have to worry about offending me.  My children go see their ... 'father' ... every other weekend for a day and a half.  This should not bother me...but for a man who spent a good deal of time hurting me and making me feel horrible, I have a deep down desire to see him hurt.  I know, I shouldn't and I really should learn to move on and semi-enjoy the 'peace' that I have when they are with him.  but, I don't.  It hasn't happened yet.  And where is the help I am begging for??  He hasn't paid child support in such a long time....and I am not talking like a month or two, I mean like 18 months.  grrr.  And I have those thoughts of "if he can't afford to do what a judge told him he needed to do, and state is not helping by enforcing, then why on earth do I have to hand my babies over to him???"  But Daniel says that it will make everything so much easier when they get older, because they will be able to see that mommy never once talked bad about him, never held them from him.  I want them to make up their own minds about him...kids are so smart and so intuitive.  they know.  But, the part that I wanted to get to is this: I feel like crap.  I am sick and I wanted to whine that it is harder because I have them to look after, a job that I have to do to provide for them, a second job to make up for the first jobs lack of funds...and both are pretty demanding on my spare time.  There just isn't anybody here to take care of me...and sometimes I want to punch something.  They are my world though, and if protecting and providing for them costs me a little, than so be it.  I just wanted to whine about it.
And while we are on the whining, I am going to poach some more from Lauren and have a daily facebook rant.  I am so sick of hearing about people fussing about their significant other (I mean seriously, not just as a joke...or teasing them...) I hate it when people take the little things for granted.  I can't see the love of my life unless it is skyped...I can't touch him or kiss him or breathe him in...I can't have him hug me when things feel rough, or wake up to find him there...one day really soon I will..but when people are constantly fussing about the little stuff it really pisses me off!!  "Does he not understand that I hate picking his socks up??  makes me want to hit him with a frying pan!  the floor is NOT a dirty clothes basket and he should appreciate what I do!"   that is an exact quote.  I know for sure that this guy works all day in a very very demanding job, they have a baby (she stays at home) and because I am a mother who has stayed at home, who still stays home most of the time with my kids, I can say this.  She is the one who should be thankful!  He has a job, loves his family, and worships her....what the crap is wrong with letting little things like stupid socks on the floor go??  I posted on her status that she should be thankful she has somebody who loves her, and she responded that if he loved her he would listen and stop throwing his socks on the floor.  Seriously??????   I wanted to slap the stupid out of her!!  She needs to find an outlet and take the pressure off of her husband. 
Speaking of an outlet....I miss painting.  Like really really miss it.  I just haven't had time for it and it makes me sad.  I have things I need to finish... (yes Lauren, I am going to finish that project before Christmas, I swear!!) and I sometimes think, "if I can't make time for the things that make other things worth it...what am I doing to myself?"  I love to sew...but haven't done anything in weeks...

Okay...well.  I am going to end the mid day rant...and hopefully the next time I blog it won't be to say mean things about people  :}